Mystery Solved

For today's entry, we reach into the mailbag and pull out a bonafide mystery!

This email, from my sister Katy, was awaiting in my Inbox:

Okay it is quite rare that I will look under any bed in my house, much less the guest bedroom, but in my quest to find my electric knife (I do crafts, okay? don't judge), I ran across a half-eaten collection of Fannie May Christmas chocolates. Need to know if it was left behind inadvertently by my Christmas guests or if my husband has become a secret binge-eater.


By "Christmas guests" she means me and Ryan. It has been a fun holiday tradition for us to stay in the guest room at Katy and Nunzino's for a few nights every Christmas. However, this Christmas we stayed only one night, spending the rest of our holiday nights at the fabulous Dana Hotel and Spa downtown (thanks to a wonderful Christmas gift from Ryan).

Not to throw Nunzino under the bus or anything, but we simply weren't there long enough this year to do that much damage to a box of chocolates...I think.

But then I think of Ryan. Man's got a sweet tooth. Remember the popsicle incident of 2002?

Still, something about this wasn't quite adding up. I had so many unanswered questions...
  1. Now, by half-eaten, did she mean that each chocolate was bitten in half, or that only half the chocolates were eaten? (Neither one really sounds like us. I might bite one in half and reject it if it's disgusting on the inside, but I doubt I'd go back for more. And Ryan, well, if he were on a nocturnal candy binge, I think ALL the chocolates would be gone, not just half of them.)
  2. Also, which side of the bed? (If it was on the treadmill side -- the side where I sleep -- then Nunzino or one of the kids was probably the culprit. I would have worked harder to cover my tracks than just shoving the box under the bed. I like to think Ryan would too, but then again, he did leave that empty box of posicles and a trail of sticky sticks and wrappers in plain sight back in '02.)
  3. Finally, did she recognize the chocolates as being something she purchased / received as a gift? Or were they totally foreign? (Fannie May is not our usual bag, so I doubt we, and by we I mean Ryan, brought them. However, that does not mean he wouldn't EAT them, although he's typically better behaved than to eat an entire...or rather half an entire...box of chocolates from someone else's pantry.)

This was a mystery indeed!!

So. I showed Ryan the photo and he broke out into an embarrassed grin. The same sheepish look he had in 2002, minus the strawberry tint around the corners of his mouth.

He fessed up right away. He was the culprit, but like all good mysteries, this one had one last twist:

Those chocolates were from Christmas 2007!!!

Apparently they were a gift that we received out at the big multi-family celebration hosted by Aberdeen and Tim. Ryan didn't eat much for dinner that night, so he was STARVING when we got back. So starving that he downed half a box of chocolates before passing out as the box fell from his hand and slid under the bed.

When asked if he had anything to say for himself, Ryan replied, "Katy should really really check under the bed more often."


Jean said...

This is awesome. I love your spouse, especially because I have fond memories of him telling me about a terrible binge involving a large bag of dried apricots and the unfortunate aftermath. The Ryan strikes again!

tilney said...

Oh NO! You did not just invoke the Great Apricot Debacle of 2006, did you?!

Beril said...

That is too funny!!!

Jean said...

Debacle? I had no idea! And no, I'm sure this was well before 2006. I actually think it was more like 2002. I think it was one of the first extended conversations I had with him, and as you can see, it really made an impression!