Party Animals

On Saturday, August 23 we attended my company's annual summer family party, which was held at the Milwaukee County Zoo. It was my first time attending a family summer party at this company, and my first time visiting this zoo.

My success criteria for the event were somewhat modest. First and foremost, I wanted to see a polar bear. Next, in descending order of importance, I wanted to not make an ass of myself in front of my coworkers. (No more than usual, I mean.) Out-of-office events involving coworkers can generate strange behavior even in those of us who typically exercise constant vigilance against getting food stuck in our teeth or telling abstract jokes that result in awkward silence around the water cooler. But add weekend-casual clothing, other people's children, and some sun-warmed potato salad to the mix and all bets are off. So you have to be careful. Trust me, you do not want to be the person whose name is forevermore inextricably linked with the phrase "multi-generational fajita bar debacle" or the subject of a local news story that ends with the statement "Alcohol may have been a contributing factor."

So with these goals in mind, we joined my colleagues at the zoo. Here are some of the things we saw:

Elephants! Sweet!


A giraffe!


A turtle (right) and a tiny aligator, hiding under a rock (left).


A pretty green snake! I'm pretty sure this one was poisonous.


A very badass-looking snake. Also poisonous.


Poison dart toads. They glow in the dark! (And are poisonous.)


Lawn ornaments! So very lifelike...


I would have taken more photos but I neglected to charge my iPhone before we came to the zoo, and the battery died.

I wish I could blame the dead battery for the lack of polar bear photos displayed here. As it turns out, while hordes of Milwaukee County residents enjoy looking at animals in 90+ degree weather, polar bears do not.

That's right, Success Criterion #1 was a bust. Having failed to spot a polar bear, you might wonder if I'd return to the picnic grounds dejected and decide to go for broke by slamming a case of wine coolers and then guessing my coworkers' age, weight, and true hair color.

Thankfully, Ryan was there to pull me back from the edge. To cheer me up, he agreed to sit for a caricature with me. And I must say, it turned out to be a real mood lifter: Check out the nice rack on my drawing!