More Observations from the 2008 Wisconsin State Fair

The State Fair is about so much more than food on a stick. So much of the magic of the experience is in the sights, the sounds, the smells... Okay, just the first two are magical when you're walking through the Livestock Pavilion. Herewith, more magic!


We also discovered that politics play a role at the Wisconsin State Fair. Beloved U.S. Senator Herb Kohl's campaign sponsored Herb's Superb Milk House, offering five (count 'em!) varieties of flavored milk at 25 cents a cup. A long line of fairgoers wrapped around the Milk House to show their support for democracy (or perhaps to protest $4.00 lemonade). The following flavors were on offer:

  • Chocolate - A timeless classic. Tasted like watered-down chocolate milk.
  • Strawberry - Tasted like watered-down Strawberry Quik.
  • Root Beer - Gets points for novelty. Tasted like a watered-down rootbeer float.
  • Mocha - Yum! Tasted just like a watered-down Starbucks Frappuccino.
  • Cherry Vanilla - We didn't try this one, but we can guess.

Before visiting the State Fair, I thought I knew myself. I thought I was in touch with my own innermost affinities and aspirations for the future. Not so much, as it turns out. For now, I realize that my entire life needs to be dedicated to having a fridge that is filled with leftovers like this.

"Help me!" she cries. Or perhaps, "Wave your hands in the air and shake yo asses, homes!" Who knows what our icing-laden princess might say, if only she weren't trapped behind glass. All I know is, I love partying in a pouffy dress, so I'm digging her look.

This multi-tiered something-or-other scares me a little because (A) I don't like blue food (except blueberries) or beverages (except blueberry smoothies) and (B) it includes an in-ground koi pond, and I do not condone the admixture of cake and fish.

Yay, wedding cake!

Remember Mr. Ed, television's beloved talking horse? Well, apparently he runs (or is served from) a burger shack at the State Fair now. I really don't want to know what is happening behind that tall fence next to the beer window.


I thought it would be fun to ride the chair lift thingie that traversed State Fair Park. Turns out I am afraid of heights when falling to the ground is a possibility. So, visiting the Empire State Building and standing on the observation deck? Not a problem. Riding a slow-moving chair lift whose zenith is no more than 30 feet in the air? Petrifying!

So while we were riding the chair-lift and I was bargaining with the almighty to return me safely to earth, my horror was compounded upon observing this contraption involving what appeared to be two spindly towers, a cage for passengers, and two bungee cords. Sorry, but I can't see entrusting my life to a bungee-based device assembled and operated by teenagers.

This rather bizarre display was supposed to be a theater scene (the giveaway was the theater chair, not pictured, and the sign in the foreground, which reads "It's Curtain Time - Enjoy the Show") but the somber colors and funereal floral arrangements made us think of a different kind of "curtain time" -- as in, "It's curtains for you, Mister!"


Who says there's brain drain in Wisconsin? Clearly no one who's seen the latest technological marvels on display at the State Fair! Here we have the Televac 42000, a system that can perform "Personality Handwriting Analysis" in both English and Spanish (or "Espanol"). I'm not sure if the handwriting sample could be in either language or if it was just the results that had a bilingual bent. I opted not to ask, because, being a non-Televac-savvy individual, I wasn't sure I'd be able to understand the answer.

And speaking of robots... Were we? Perhaps not, but they were. As we soared overhead on the ski lift, the 20 or 30 people on this stage, dressed in matching outfits, started singing "Mr. Roboto" by Styx. They danced, too! It momentarily distracted me from my fear of death, so all in all we'd give them two thumbs up.

Stay tuned for more posts about our trip to the State Fair, including excursions into the plant and animal kingdoms!

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